There are a lot of assumptions that I know people make when I tell them I run. The conversation template varies but for the most part it goes like this:

Them: “Any plans for the afternoon?”

Me: “Mmm, not really, go for a run and then make dinner, tidy house, hang out.”

Them: “Oh, that’s great! Did you just start?”

This last statement is usually coupled with a quick once over. When I say no, I have been running for almost a year now, they often follow up with a question regarding how far or fast I run, whether I do races, and the best one: “why did you start running?”. And I know the answer they anticipate, “I wanted to get healthy and fit, maybe lose some weight”. But that just isn’t the answer I have. Because I started running for every reason BUT weight loss.

Now, please understand I feel no ill will to the people who follow this line of questioning. I get it! The representation of plus size athletes is still pretty small. You really have to hunt down plus size athletes to follow on social media, and activewear advertising is only just starting to be more inclusive. I mean, we all saw how many people lost their minds when Nike dared to debut a plus size mannequin in leggings and a sports bra. 

I take it as an opportunity to be there and represent other plus size runners and athletes like myself. Because I have been an athlete all my life. And I have been overweight for most of my life. The list of sports I have enjoyed and competed in goes on for a while. But my favorites were ballet, field hockey, swimming, and lacrosse. And now, I get to add running to that list. And like all the sports I did in high school, middle school, and even elementary school, I didn’t take it up so I could lose weight.

In December of 2018, I sprained my ankle. I was on crutches for two weeks, and needed to use an aircast for almost a month. And to make it even more annoying, it wasn’t even a cool story. I slipped off the edge of the sidewalk on a walk, heard a nasty popping noise, and then proceeded to yell expletives in front of some innocent children and bystanders. Being essentially couch bound for a week, and unable to hike for a month or two afterwards drove me crazy. And due to a lack of proper care and effort into healing, I was still experiencing regular pain six months later. As a 23 year old, able bodied woman, I was angry at myself for not taking care of my body and appreciating it. So I made a change. 

I work in an office, and spending eight hours a day indoors was getting hard. I made a plan that would help me heal my ankle, spend some time outside, and form a steady routine. In October I started getting up at 4:30 am every morning. I would go on a half hour long walk in the dark, then get back home to journal, eat breakfast, read, and get ready for work. I kept this up for a couple months, and after the first month of daily walking, my ankle was feeling stronger and I was able to walk further and further with less and less pain. As November started out, I began to think, “Well, I’m already out walking…I might as well run”. 

Well, those first few runs were ROUGH! My ankle was still mending and having not run in over a year (and to be clear I hadn’t run consistently since high school), my form was abysmal. But I kept at it, starting off with just running one block, walking two. Run one, walk two. Hobble one, hobble a little more quickly for two. I ran with a strong limp, tight shoulders, and a hunch. Thank goodness I was doing this before the rest of the city was awake to spare my ego. Over time, the running got a little easier, and as we entered December 2019 I was consistently running longer sections of my walks. As the weather cooled I decided to start sleeping in a little more, and swapped my exercise to the evenings. I still went to work at 6:30 am, which allowed me to be home by 3:30 pm. I downloaded the Runkeeper app and started their 5k program. I invested in some nice running shoes, and I started to really put the work in. The two months of consistent walking every single day had improved my ankle pain and strength and running quickly became easier. 

Now it wasn’t all easy, through December I endured knee pain, ankle pain, tendon pain, lower back pain and shoulder pain (good form is SO important), and on most runs, at around the thirty minute mark, one or both feet would go numb. But I kept going, because every run, even at its hardest point, felt so good. I learned to stand up straight and look ahead, I loosened my hands and focused on keeping my shoulders from creeping up. I made sure that I was landing around the midsole of my foot and not shuffling or taking too long of a stride. I even finally started stretching before and after runs. By mid January the majority of the pain was gone, my form improved greatly, and my feet only went numb when I laced my shoes too tight or neglected to stretch.

And on January 11th, 2020 I ran my first 5k. I had done plenty of fundraising 5k races with my family but I had usually walked with my brother and Dad while my Mom jogged ahead, urging the rest of us to pick up the pace. January 11th was my first 5k that I signed myself up for, trained for, and pushed myself for. I got my fastest mile time yet and finished at exactly 46 minutes. Much faster than the hour I had given myself. It felt so amazing to finish the race. As I neared the finish line I picked up my pace to a sprint, crossing the line with a big smile. I signed up for another 5K two weeks later.

As I prepare for the next one (February 15th) I am nervous. Will I be faster? Can I do it again? Am I getting in too deep? But I have to remind myself, sometimes multiple times a week that I am not running so I can be the best. I am not doing it so I can be faster or run farther or win. Those things are motivators, but they are not the reason that I lace up three to four times a week. I do it because I have found something to invest in. Something to be proud of. Running challenges me and encourages discipline and mental toughness. It gives me time to myself to sort through my thoughts and feelings. And it helps me get outside on a regular basis.

You don’t have to run an 8 minute mile to be a runner. You don’t have to finish a 10K every weekend or sign up for marathons or 5Ks to be a runner. You can do intervals or not and you are still a runner. If you are running then you are a runner.